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Thursday, May 29, 2008

i love doctors ...

Since I am a full time student again, I no longer have spiffy health benefits with vision and dental plans. This means that every time I go for a checkup, I have to pay out of pocket and then starve myself for a week to make up for the difference. This is probably why I am extra irritable when I go to the doctor and am met by incompetence. If I'm being charged an arm and a leg for an eye examination, it should at least be professional ... hmph.

Strike #1
The receptionist asked me to fill out some forms. When I returned to the counter, she asked, "Where is Prudence?" She said as if she was monologuing - you could have substituted any moral descriptors in the sentence and think you were at a Shakespearean play. "oh where is courage? where is faith? where is love?" Amazingly, I knew exactly what she was talking about. She was referring to a patient who came in before me named Prudence (not the best name I know), who coincidentally has the same last name as me.

"I'm not related to Prudence. (for my own amusement) I know not prudence."
"Oh that's weird, you two have the same last name. I have never ever seen that before. wooow ... very weird. The same last name ..."
(lady, are you psyho? you work at an asian doctor's office and when I walked in there were six asian people waiting, how can you be surprised that two people who have the same last name come in one after another? I willing to bet that this happens at least 5 times a day.)

She still had a confused look on her face as I went back to my chair. Even now I can still hear her in my head screaming, "Prudence, are you here? Prudence?"

Strike #2
When my name was finally called, I was greeted by two korean nurses who were both at least a few years younger than I was. They were both young and was probably working there for the summer, the look of inexperience was so obvious on their faces. They both liked to giggle and smile because they kept doing it over and over for the next 5 minutes when they were with me. Maybe I had something in my hair or something, I'm not sure what was so funny.

I gave my glasses to the younger girl to have it checked, she looked at me and the glasses then asked, "Are these bifocals?" I was so shocked by what she said I started laughing, followed by a string of no's. She was embarrassed and blushed a little, "I meant the progressive ones, we have to ask just to make sure." I raised my eye brows slightly and replied, "Right, of course."

The slightly older nurse asked me to sit in front of an eye machine and put my chin on the device. She then proceeded to adjust the knobs to get the scope to line up to my eye and was unsuccessful for a good three minutes. It was obvious that the scope pointing to my nose and not my eye, but she kept wondering why I couldn't see anything. Another minute passed and she started asking me questions ...

"Why is it so low?
"Do you know why this isn't working?"
"ahh why doesn't this work?"

After a few whimpers from the older one, the other girl came to her rescue. She had the bright idea of adjusting the chin rest ...
"Why don't we move your chin up higher?"
"The scope is pointing at my nose, are you sure you want to raise my chin higher?"

She pretended not to hear me and proceeded to adjust the position. About 10 seconds into executing her master plan, she realized it accomplished exactly the opposite of what she wanted.

"Hmm ... let's move it down instead."
(with my sarcastic voice) "Now that's a much better idea!"

Strike #3
The doctor was a relatively young korean doctor, he didn't have a ring on so he was probably single. I would dare say that he was good looking, maybe that's why the two young nurses loved working there so much. When he was examining my eyes, he kept leaning close to me to adjust the lenses. - which was normal. The strange thing was that he kept brushing his leg against mine. Initially, I thought he was doing it by accident. But when he kept on doing it, I started to get weirded out. Even though it wasn't a sensual kind of touch, it was still weird that a guy is rubbing his knee against mine.

"Can I adjust the chair? Your leg is rubbing against mine."
"Oh sorry."

Now that was awkward ... needless to say, I'm never going back there again.

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Saturday, May 24, 2008

Rain vs. Colbert

This is one of the most hilarious clips I've seen in awhile.

Stephen Colbert from the Colbert Report and Korean Pop star Rain have a longstanding rivalry ever since last year. The two have have fought over the top spot in Time Magazine's "Top 50 Most Influential People" and have been trash talking each other back and forth. If you have a few minutes to spare, you should go here and catch up on the news.

If you don't have the time, just watch the video. It'll be worth your time.


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Friday, May 23, 2008

Quote of the Day

"To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything, and your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact, you must give your heart to no one, not even to an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements; lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket--safe, dark, motionless, airless--it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. The alternative to tragedy, or at least to the risk of tragedy, is damnation. The only place outside of Heaven where you can be perfectly safe from the perturbations of love is Hell."

C.S. Lewis - The Four Loves

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Wednesday, May 21, 2008

Strange Jesus Merchandise

Deluxe Jesus Action Figure

Miracle Eyes Jesus Sculpture

Stuff like this really freaks me out. I can't imagine what you can do with a Jesus action figure. Do you let your kids play with the Son of God alongside G.I. Joe and Barbie? Would action figure Jesus give his five loaves and two fish to feed little ponies? And what's up with the glow-in-the-dark hands?

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Thursday, May 15, 2008

Strange Dreams

I fell asleep last night with the impression that I can never be a good criminal. I had just wasted many hours of my life playing Grand Theft Auto 4 and kept failing on this one very difficult mission. For those of you who don't know what GTA4 is, it's a game where you play as bad guy who goes around killing other crooks and drug dealers. It's a pretty morally messed up game, some people even call it a murder simulator. I only play it so I can prove to tell myself that I can never be a crook.

Onto my strange dream ... I was outside playing basketball with my friends when a young kid walked over to where we left our stuff and started rummaging through it. Ironically, our "stuff" consisted of a pile of machine guns and Uzi's ... since that's how we roll here in the hood. There were probably some drugs in there too but I couldn't tell from a distance. Then all of a sudden one of my friends screamed, "everyone GET DOWN!" The little girl apparently had picked up an Uzi and started waving it around like a wand, pointing it at us while laughing her head off. Now that I think about it, where did she come from, where were her irresponsible parents?!?

Anyhow, I was lying prone on the ground when the girl started shooting. I held my friend's head down while wondering what was going to happen next. Then out of nowhere I heard sirens from a distance, and seconds later swarms of cops surrounded us. Chaos ensues and I woke up at the sound of gunshots (someone had texted me and woke me up).

I'm still not sure if there's any redeeming value to this story. If you figure out any, let me know.

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Wednesday, May 14, 2008

Hitchhiker's Guide to Preschool

A strange thing happened to me a few weeks ago.

I was driving to dinner and was stopped at a traffic light when a lady started walking toward my car. As soon as I noticed this, I secretly wished that the light would immediately turn green. After all, isn't it a sin to be late for dinner? When I realized that the light wasn't changing any time soon, I reluctantly rolled down my window while wishing that she would just leave me alone.

- are you busy right now?
- well I'm driving to dinner, what do you need?
- can you drive me to pick up my son at preschool?

It sounded harmless enough ... driving a mom to pick up her son at school. Then again, I have seen this scenario play out in horror movies and nothing good ever happens to the stupid driver who picks up hitchhikers. At that moment of conflict, the words of this song came to me. After a bit of processing, I knew that the decision boiled down to one simple question: is my fear of being taken advantage of and the inconvenience of losing time greater than my willingness to help one in need?

I asked her how far the school was and let her into my car. The conversation started out normally, but when she asked me the same questions over and over again, I became a little nervous. Things didn't get better when I asked her where the preschool was, all she said was "My son's name is Israel, and his name means peace." (which I knew wasn't true) To top that off, she told me that she was legally blind and had failed her driving test 5 times.

There was a point when I thought I was being duped, but fortunately for me, she wasn't lying. The preschool did exist and she really had a son is actually named Israel. However, the fun wasn't over just yet. On the way home, with Israel buckled in my backseat, she said she had something important to tell me.

-Can I hold your hand?
- What? You want to hold my hand?
- Yea, can I hold you hand?
- ehhh ... I'm driving, I think it'll be rather dangerous if I hold your hand. Why would you want to hold someone's hand in the first place?
- I'm half Indian and half Puerto Rican, in my culture that's normal.

After I refused her several more times, she suddenly reached over and grabbed my left hand! (You might have to imagine this a little, but I usually drive with my right hand on the wheel and resting the other on my leg) So there I was, holding hands with a strange woman while her 4 year old son is in my back seat. I tried to gracefully let go but she wouldn't have it, she held on to my lifeless hand with both of hers and kept talking as if nothing abnormal was going on. She then said ...

- By holding your hand, I can now read you?
-(did I pick up a cult member? or is she demon possessed?) What can you read?
- I can see that you are a student, that you love your mom, that you're gentle, sensitive ...

I don't remember what I was thinking at that point, all I wanted to do was to drive her and her son back to her house as soon as possible before she casts a spell and turns me into a frog. She probably held on to my hands for a good 5 minutes before we got back to her house. And when we arrived, she tried to convince me that she was a really good artist and that she wanted to show me her paintings. I told her that I was already late to dinner and had to sadly pass up her offer. Then I drove away a bit shaken but thankful that I was still alive.

So what's the moral of the story? Always drive with both hands on the wheel!

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Tuesday, May 13, 2008

A Sign of Things to Come

Surely We Can Change
by David Crowder

And the problem is this
We were bought with a kiss
But the cheek still turned
Even when it wasn’t hit

And I don’t know
What to do with a love like that
And I don’t know
How to be a love like that

When all the love in the world
Is right here among us
And hatred too
And so we must choose
What our hands will do

Where there is pain
Let there be grace
Where there is suffering
Bring serenity
For those afraid
Help them be brave
Where there is misery
Bring expectancy
And surely we can change
Surely we can change

And the problem it seems
Is with you and me
Not the Love who came
To repair everything

Where there is pain
Let us bring grace
Where there is suffering
Bring serenity
For those afraid
Let us be brave
Where there is misery
Let us bring them relief
And surely we can change
Surely we can change
Oh surely we can change

Oh, the world’s about to change
The whole world’s about to change


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