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Wednesday, June 25, 2008

How to get love and happiness

Since so many of you have asked, I'm going to let you in on a secret: love and happiness can be bought on the internet ... and for a good discount! Here's the proof:

It's more than just happiness, but it's authentic happiness! 10% off on ebay, what a deal.

Even a better deal is true love, it's 15% off. How awesome is that? If you don't believe me, just go to live.com and search for yourself!

While we're on the subject of search, I've recently been suckered into signing up for Blingo - the search that gives away prizes. My crazy friend actually won 2 sets of movie tickets in the past year, so I'm going to try my luck too. Feel free to sign up yourself. That's all the news from the internet for now.

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Wednesday, June 18, 2008

Robots vs. Dinosaurs

Let's get real. The greatest threat to humanity right now is not nuclear holocaust or space invaders. It's a toss up between trans-human robots and killer dinosaurs. Here's a quick recap of the (very real) threats:

Dinosaurs (Go check out this mind-blowing article.)

Some crazy scientists have figured out how to "activate" hidden genes in chickens to trick them into growing dinosaur parts. Soon enough, there will hordes of dinosaurs running around out neighborhood eating up our children! Here's a quote from the lead scientist:

‘I have to admit that I’ve certainly imagined walking up on a stage to give a talk, and having a little dino chicken walk up behind me,’ he says, ‘That would be kind of cool. There is now nothing to stop us bringing back dinosaurs but ourselves.

The only way to prevent this from happening is if we eat all the chickens in the world before it's too late!

Robots (read this or watch this)

Another group of equally crazy scientists, who probably watched too many episodes of Battlestar Galactica, are trying to figure out a way to gain eternal life by downloading memories and uploading them into robot bodies. Simply put, they are trying to create Cylons!
Sandberg and his fellow transhumanists plan to bypass death by using technologies such as artificial intelligence (AI), genetic engineering and nanotechnology to radically accelerate human evolution, eventually merging people with machines to make us immortal.
The article gets a little heavy at the end with the ethical issues, but it's still an interesting read. Even the new firefox3 hints at the imminent robot takeover (type "about:robots" in the address bar).

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Sunday, June 15, 2008

only in asia ...

... do you get to buy these strange and interesting items:

First up we have snacks modeled after men and women items. Even if it's just marshmallow, why would anyone ever eat something like that? Would you eat poop-shaped chocolate?

Here we have something more practical: a tissue holder/dispenser. Unless you have an apartment with a really fobby decor, I'm not sure how you can pull this off.


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Tuesday, June 10, 2008

if only the heart was this simple ...

I happen to love praising God in song. So much so that if there's an organized choir in heaven, I would sign up the moment I get there and gladly worship for eternity. Wait ... scratch that. If the choir sings in a slug-like tempo and only to the accompaniment of a gigantic organ and prohibits any body movements such as clapping or swaying, then I'm totally out. Maybe I'll go sweep the golden streets or something.

Anyway, I visited an International Church in HK the other day and was introduced to some new songs. One in particular sticks out in my mind for a couple reasons. For one, it was completely ambiguous as to who we were actually singing to for the entire first verse:
"I'm falling, falling, falling in love with you. (x3)"
There were other words in the latter verses that clarifies that "you" refers to Jesus, but these are the only words I remember. I tried to search for the actual lyrics but only found secular love songs for obvious reasons. So that's not so exciting and borderline sketchy, but then the worship leader switched things up by singing that phrase in Chinese.
"我深深爱上你. (x3)"
Singing those two phrases in different languages back to back blew my mind. In English, the word falling gives you the imagery that someone is uncontrollably being sucked downward into love. Perhaps that's the reason why so many people in the West "wait" for love to happen to them, as if one day the ground under them will vanish and they'll fall down a precipice of love - a free fall in which they have no control over whatsoever. Don't get me wrong, that could and probably happens to a lot of people (just look at John Cusack in Serendipity). But in Chinese, the phrase "爱上你" has the character "上" which means "up" literally. So in some ways, loving someone has this upward imagery (at least to me) - as if you have to put work in and and climb skyward.

I'm no literary expert in Chinese or English, but having those two images juxtaposed against each other is powerful. Can one "fall" in love in one culture and "climb" into love in another? Do grammatical constructs change the way people perceive what love should be like? It's interesting how the two languages portray love so differently. In truth, there's a balance that needs to be struck down the middle. Love isn't something you just happen to trip over and fall into, and neither is it something that is devoid of chemistry and requires painstaking work constantly. All this just makes me wonder... am I falling in love with God, or climbing up to be in love with Him.

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Friday, June 06, 2008

Heartbreak Hotel

Since Rob and Jen just hooked up, I've decided to move my matchmake scheming to the Most Eligible Bachelor in RCCC (don't ask me why the website is still so ugly) ... Eric "mr. hot stuff" Han. But before we go into that, let's take a moment to analyze the fallout of Rob being taken off the market.

As many of you well know, Rob was featured in one of Eric's blog posts last month. His incredible Rockband vocal skills took the world by storm and he quickly became one of the most recognized and coveted bachelors in Central Jersey and beyond. Even I was not immune to Rob's quick rise to stardom:

me: "rob is now in a relationship"me: eric just said on rob's wall "you just broke thousands of girls hearts in the state of new jersey"
girl in oregon: and one in oregon
me: oh ... i knew it
you're in love with rob!
girl in oregon: im just using you
me: it's clearyou are USING me
girl in oregon: to get to Rob!

Let us take a moment to revisit Rob's debut single: The Rockband Remix:

I personally tear every time I watch that video. The ending is so dramatic that my heart flutters and I start fainting. Now that Rob is safely in Jen's arms (or the other way around), let's shift our focus on Eric. Here's a recent conversation I had with him:
Eric: hahaha, i think everybody already knows (rob and jen are dating) anyway
me: well i did publish it on my blog
Eric: yea they only read it because there's a link off my blog
you know, the popular one
me: right ... because the young college girls read it
Eric: and now they all know that rob is off the market
i'll be counseling them all week
me: yea a lot of hearts were broken
Eric: a pandemic of depression
me: you should swoop in and take advantage of the current situation
So there you have it, ladies. Forget about Rob and pay attention to Eric! He is young, single, and looking for an eligible young lady to woo and romance. Here's a picture of him under the cherry blossoms.

Feel free to leave testimonials and love notes for Eric here.

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Thursday, June 05, 2008

Neither hot nor cold

I visited a small group bible study with my friend Jeanne tonight. Since it was my first time there, I seriously considered breaking out of my usual persona and instead adopt something crazier just for the summer. For some reason, I have always wanted to be the obnoxious one in a bible study, someone who asks random questions, goes off on tangents, offers unsolicited advice, promotes blasphemy ... you know, all the good stuff. Honestly it would just be entertaining to see how the leader will handle it, and even more interesting to see how much I will get away with.

sg leader: Our group is named 40 degrees. Does anyone want to guess why we're called that?

me: Because you guys strive to be lukewarm so God will spit you out of His mouth?

sg leader: ... the previous leader thought that it would be nice to be called 40 degrees because it's hot.

me: I'm pretty sure 40 degrees is lukewarm, maybe the last leader didn't know what he was talking about.

sg leader: everyone asks now and again, why not 100 degrees? why not 1000 degrees? I honestly am not sure.

me: yea, why do you blindly follow what people tell you to follow?

sg leader: ok let's get started on today's lesson.

I didn't actually say any of those things aloud, the rebellious side of me wish I had. Here's proof from the "Greeks" that 40 degrees is lukewarm. To the previous leader's credit, I think he was referring to air temperature - but that's besides the point. It's still a silly name.


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