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Tuesday, April 07, 2009

FAIL

me: did you finally fix your internet?
Eric : Yea it works now
me: what was wrong with it
Eric : Not sure
Eric signed off 10:54 PM
Eric signed on 10:54 PM
Eric signed off 10:54 PM
Eric signed on 10:54 PM
me: are you sure
Eric signed off 10:54 PM
me: haha

(the shirt is captioned "adorkable")

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Wednesday, January 28, 2009

Why I love Kroger

Hello friends. It has been four long months since my last post, so if you are reading this, that means you are a true friend.

My favorite neighborhood grocery store was having a sale on blueberries today. They were selling a 6 oz box for $1 (as opposed to $4.99) for "plus members", so wanted to picked up 6 boxes of it. During checkout, I tried to input my "plus card" info using my phone number but couldn't get it to work, . So I called the cashier over to help me.

"Hi. For some reason my plus card isn't working. I put my phone number in and it does't recognize it but it worked last night."
"Enter your phone number in again"
(slightly annoyed) "I tried it 4 times already"

"Sir, the reason it doesn't work is because you are typing in the wrong area code. You pressed 732 instead of 734"
"... ... ... my area code is 732"
"oh ... then I can't help you, sorry"

Not only did she assume that I'm an idiot, but she provided no help whatsoever! So did I end up paying $30 for blueberries? Did I panic and storm out of the store? No, I turned to the girl lined up behind me and borrowed her plus card and walked out of Kroger with a ton of blueberries. VICTORY IS MINE!

When I got home, I tried to log on the Kroger website to see why my account wasn't recognized. I typed in my email but it said no account existed, so I went to the help page to find this. See anything wrong with the instructions? Oh Kroger, why are you always so helpful?

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Monday, October 06, 2008

Be afraid, be very afraid

If you weren't scared of China after watching the opening ceremony at the Olympics, I have some news for you. Chinese people can grow volleyballs! YES, volleyballs. With just the will power of a lowly peasant (and biotechnology), the Chinese can now grow whatever they want from calabash.


Not that I have any idea what calabash is, but I'm pretty sure they are going to take over the world soon. If I were you, I would hide in your basement and stay there forever.

pictures courtesy of xinhuanet.com

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Saturday, October 04, 2008

Life Lesson at Jimmy John's


How Much is Enough?

The American businessman was at the pier of a small coastal Mexican village when a small boat with just one fisherman docked. Inside the small boat were several large yellow-fin tuna. The American complimented the Mexican on the quality of his fish and asked how long it took to catch them. The Mexican replied only a little while. The American then asked why didn't he stay out longer and catch more fish? The Mexican said he had enough to support his family's immediate needs. The American then asked, but what do you do with the rest of your time?

The Mexican fisherman said, “I sleep late, fish a little, play with my children, take siesta with my wife, Maria, stroll into the village each evening where I sip wine and play guitar with my amigos, I have a full and busy life, senor.”

The American scoffed, “I am a Harvard MBA and could help you. You should spend more time fishing and with the proceeds buy a bigger boat with the proceeds from the bigger boat you could buy several boats, eventually you would have a fleet of fishing boats. Instead of selling your catch to a middleman you would sell directly to the processor, eventually opening your own cannery. You would control the product, processing and distribution. You would need to leave this small coastal fishing village and move to Mexico City, then LA and eventually NYC where you will run your expanding enterprise.” The Mexican fisherman asked, “But senor, how long will this all take?” To which the American replied, “15-20 years.”

“But what then, senor?”

The American laughed and said that’s the best part. When the time is right you would announce an IPO and sell your company stock to the public and become very rich, you would make millions.

“Millions, senor? Then what?”

The American said, “Then you would retire. Move to a small coastal fishing village where you would sleep late, fish a little, play with your kids, take siesta with your wife, stroll to the village in the evenings where you could sip wine and play your guitar with your amigos.”

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Monday, September 29, 2008

My Addiction

This is a cry for help. I am addicted to deals, more specifically, I'm addicted to free giveaways. Today I saw this free razor promotion through slickdeals and I promptly signed up without thinking twice. That's the moral hazard of having a dedicated junk mail account. Anyhow, this is what the sign up page look like. If you pay careful attention to the language, you might find it somewhat weird, but then again, I didn't pay that much attention.


When I pressed the submit button, I realized my mistake:
Ken: haha this is so stupid
Eric: what
Ken: well, i am so stupid
Ken: i just don't look at what slickdeals i do anymore
Eric: huh?
Ken: i think i signed up for a free women's razor
Ken: haha
Eric: HAHA
Ken: they are usually guy's ones though
Eric: yea i know
Ken: and the promo page didn't say anything
Eric: thats pretty funny
Eric: i wuold blog about that
Ken: until i submitted and there's this woman raising her hands
Ken: i'm thinking "great, why is it a woman?"

So if anyone needs a razor in 4-6 weeks, let me know. I'll be sure never to touch it.

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Monday, September 22, 2008

She-Bear Alert!

Last Wednesday night as I was walking home, I was attacked by a pack of she-bears! I never knew Ann Arbor was a town with a bear infestation, but after that night, I will never walk home alone again. The she-bears were apparently lead by a strange bald man walking around with a staff in hand, I tried to chase after him after the attack, but he proved to be more fleet footed than he looked.

Anyhow, even though I escaped with my life, I did suffer some battle scars. Here's the first one:


To the untrained eye, this might look like a second-degree burn, like one would get if he didn't use an oven mitt when taking a pizza out of the oven. But I assure you that this is no stupid accident, it was a vicious claw mark from a she-bear!


The wound evolved in the days ahead and is looking quite manly of late. Darn you bears!

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Monday, September 15, 2008

bubble gum podcasts

Now that I'm back in school, I walk 1.1 miles everyday to and from school. This gives me about 15 minutes (x2) to put to good use. So I've been trying to find good podcasts to listen to, but when I went on iTunes, this is what I saw:


Osteen and Ophrah dominate the podcast world! This is sad. It's almost as sad as the current state of our economy. I wonder how the health and wealth Gospel will do in a recession. Hmm ....

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finding my way home ...

"He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning nor crying nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away."