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Heartbreak Hotel

Since Rob and Jen just hooked up, I've decided to move my matchmake scheming to the Most Eligible Bachelor in RCCC (don't ask me why the website is still so ugly) ... Eric "mr. hot stuff" Han. But before we go into that, let's take a moment to analyze the fallout of Rob being taken off the market.

As many of you well know, Rob was featured in one of Eric's blog posts last month. His incredible Rockband vocal skills took the world by storm and he quickly became one of the most recognized and coveted bachelors in Central Jersey and beyond. Even I was not immune to Rob's quick rise to stardom:

me: "rob is now in a relationship"me: eric just said on rob's wall "you just broke thousands of girls hearts in the state of new jersey"
girl in oregon: and one in oregon
me: oh ... i knew it
you're in love with rob!
girl in oregon: im just using you
me: it's clearyou are USING me
girl in oregon: to get to Rob!

Let us take a moment to revisit Rob's debut single: The Rockband Remix:

I personally tear every time I watch that video. The ending is so dramatic that my heart flutters and I start fainting. Now that Rob is safely in Jen's arms (or the other way around), let's shift our focus on Eric. Here's a recent conversation I had with him:
Eric: hahaha, i think everybody already knows (rob and jen are dating) anyway
me: well i did publish it on my blog
Eric: yea they only read it because there's a link off my blog
you know, the popular one
me: right ... because the young college girls read it
Eric: and now they all know that rob is off the market
i'll be counseling them all week
me: yea a lot of hearts were broken
Eric: a pandemic of depression
me: you should swoop in and take advantage of the current situation
So there you have it, ladies. Forget about Rob and pay attention to Eric! He is young, single, and looking for an eligible young lady to woo and romance. Here's a picture of him under the cherry blossoms.

Feel free to leave testimonials and love notes for Eric here.

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  • Anonymous Madly in Love says so:
    11:10 AM  

    Eric is so dreamy. I was there when he was peering into those sun rays. The sweat glistening off his muscular eyebrow. (I was hiding behind some trees).

    Let me tell you a story about this man beast of love. We both attended Cornell University. It was springtime, and there was a downpour. Torrential rain galore. The ferocious wind snatched up my umbrella and mangled it into a worthless cup with a stick. Dear Eric, what a kind soul, saw this lady in distress, ran with great speed and came up close with his polka dotted umbrella and said these two words I'll never forget, "Come under". What masculinity. What power. It was as if time stopped for a moment just for us two lovers.

    There you have it. Ever since then, I've been a fan of this hunk of a man. Tear me a piece of that Kit Kat Eric. top

  • Anonymous Justin Timberlake says so:
    11:21 AM  

    Eric is a jerk - I hate him. I had this girlfriend, you see, and once she met Eric. Oh man, once that happened, it was a nightmare for me, she started comparing everything I did to Eric. "Why can't you play sports as good as Eric?", "Why don't you smell as good as Eric?", "Why aren't your biceps as huge as Eric's?", "Why aren't you an intellectual just like Eric?" On and on the stupid list goes.

    And I thought I was bringing sexy back. top

  • Blogger unknownbreaker says so:
    12:54 PM  

    So often, Eric amazes me with his knack for changing car air filters, reassembling laptops, taking ministry to the web, always finding the best deals, AND making bad-arse Korean BBQ. The fixer, bargain-hunter, chef, lover of God. Ladies, look no further; get him while he's still single. top

  • Anonymous the mexican friend of a friend says so:
    2:18 PM  

    i see now... is this why you told me to read your blog? uhmm eric interesting... top

  • Anonymous dreaming of eric says so:
    11:26 PM  

    My search for that dream guys is finally over! This Eric "mr. hot stuff" Han is truly magnificent. I can't take my eyes off that Asian pop star picture of his. His beauty made those cherry blossoms look like piles of goose turds. But I know I won't have the courage to ever meet him face to face. Why did you post this ken?! oh cruel cruel fate. top

  • Blogger hanster says so:
    11:36 PM  

    If I were a girl, I'd date me top