

It's common knowledge that Americans live in a culture of fear perpetuated by the our media. Studies have found that even though the over all crime rate across the country is decreasing, citizens of this free land are growing more and more fearful for their safety. News broardcasts spend more time covering robberies, kidnapping, murders, and other violent crime than ever before, conditioning us to think that we live in a more dangerous world than it actually is.
Since we humans are such versatile creatures, we have come up with ways to defend ourselves from danger. The most ingenious invention has got to be this bedside table. I mean ... who wouldn't want to have a shield and club to defend yourself against a robber? You know you want one too!
P.S. - I have a bat under my bed just in case I have to defend myself from those evil trolls, goblins, and various other monsters that come to attack me during the night.
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