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Food for Thought

"How is one to live a moral and compassionate existence when one is fully aware of the blood, the horror inherent in life, when one finds darkness not only in one's culture but within oneself? If there is a stage at which an individual life becomes truly adult, it must be when one grasps the irony in its unfolding and accepts responsibility for a life lived in the midst of such paradox. One must live in the middle of contradiction, because if all contradiction were eliminated at once life would collapse. There are simply no answers to some of the great pressing questions. You continue to live them out, making your life a worthy expression of leaning into the light."
Arctic Dreams by Barry Lopez

I can't begin to explain how deeply this resonates with my heart. Life is easy when things are black and white, when boundaries are clearly defined, when you know exactly where you are heading. Sadly, life is never that simple or direct.

For the past week, I've been wallowing in a state of sadness and madness. I feel as if the world is collapsing on to me, but I find nowhere to hide or escape to. I reach for God and yearn for His sovereignty to sustain me but I realize that my faith is just too weak. Nevertheless I try, I pray that I have enough faith to believe His faithfulness to me, of the hope and the future as promised. Overall, my struggle is with the disparity between perfection and reality, of heaven and earth. My continual longing for perfection has left me depressed when I see the falleness and brokenness around me: in my work, my relationships, my family, my life.

There is no easy solution, just believe and trust that the best is yet to come.

Comments

Anonymous said…
"Our life is a short time in expectation, a time in which sadness and joy kiss each other at every moment. This is a quality of sadness that pervades all the moments of our life. It seems that there is no such thing as a clear-cut pure joy, but that even in the most happy moments of our existence we sense a tinge of sadness. In every satisfaction, there is an awareness of limitations. In every sucess, there is a fear of jealousy. Behind every smile there's a tear. In every embrace, there is loneliness. In every friendship, distance. And in all forms of light, there is the knowledge of surrounding darkness...But this intimate experience in which every bit of life is touched by a bit of death can point us beyond the limits of our existence. It can do so by making us look forward in expectation to the day when our hearts will be filled with perfect joy, a joy that no one shall be able to take away from us." --Henri Nouwen.

I pray you may experience that "perfect joy" more fully despite the sadness. Jn 10:10 ~G
4:38 PM
Anonymous said…
....deep
9:35 AM
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