Skip to main content

Food for Thought

"How is one to live a moral and compassionate existence when one is fully aware of the blood, the horror inherent in life, when one finds darkness not only in one's culture but within oneself? If there is a stage at which an individual life becomes truly adult, it must be when one grasps the irony in its unfolding and accepts responsibility for a life lived in the midst of such paradox. One must live in the middle of contradiction, because if all contradiction were eliminated at once life would collapse. There are simply no answers to some of the great pressing questions. You continue to live them out, making your life a worthy expression of leaning into the light."
Arctic Dreams by Barry Lopez

I can't begin to explain how deeply this resonates with my heart. Life is easy when things are black and white, when boundaries are clearly defined, when you know exactly where you are heading. Sadly, life is never that simple or direct.

For the past week, I've been wallowing in a state of sadness and madness. I feel as if the world is collapsing on to me, but I find nowhere to hide or escape to. I reach for God and yearn for His sovereignty to sustain me but I realize that my faith is just too weak. Nevertheless I try, I pray that I have enough faith to believe His faithfulness to me, of the hope and the future as promised. Overall, my struggle is with the disparity between perfection and reality, of heaven and earth. My continual longing for perfection has left me depressed when I see the falleness and brokenness around me: in my work, my relationships, my family, my life.

There is no easy solution, just believe and trust that the best is yet to come.

Comments

Anonymous said…
"Our life is a short time in expectation, a time in which sadness and joy kiss each other at every moment. This is a quality of sadness that pervades all the moments of our life. It seems that there is no such thing as a clear-cut pure joy, but that even in the most happy moments of our existence we sense a tinge of sadness. In every satisfaction, there is an awareness of limitations. In every sucess, there is a fear of jealousy. Behind every smile there's a tear. In every embrace, there is loneliness. In every friendship, distance. And in all forms of light, there is the knowledge of surrounding darkness...But this intimate experience in which every bit of life is touched by a bit of death can point us beyond the limits of our existence. It can do so by making us look forward in expectation to the day when our hearts will be filled with perfect joy, a joy that no one shall be able to take away from us." --Henri Nouwen.

I pray you may experience that "perfect joy" more fully despite the sadness. Jn 10:10 ~G
4:38 PM
Anonymous said…
....deep
9:35 AM
Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Fun with Blueberries

I LOVE blueberries! Last night a bunch of us went to my friend Dale's house to pick blueberries in her huge garden. It was so much fun. Other than the fact that it was harsh manual labor that requires you to bend or kneel down and sacrifice your tender flesh to vicious insects, we had a blast. There's really nothing like eating luscious blueberries off the tree, plucking out the biggest berries and stuffing them in your tummy, and of course - blueberry fighting! Needless to say, I ate a lot of blueberries yesterday. *** warning - don't read beyond this point if you're faint of heart *** Despite a pretty weird dream, I was still in blueberry heaven when I woke up this morning. I even brought a whole quart of them to the office and finished them before lunch time. So ... *ahem* ... a surprise came when I went to the bathroom later this morning. After I finished doing my business, I looked and saw GREEN POOP . So here's a word of warning for you, if you eat too ...
15 comments
Read more

I AM COMPUTER ILLITERATE!

*** WARNING! THE FOLLOWING POST IS WRITTEN OUT OF FRUSTRATION, PLEASE EXTEND ME SOME GRACE IF YOU FEEL OFFENDED*** [breathe in] [breathe out] umm .... I feel so much better now, but there is still a bit of angst buried deep within. It all started with a kind gesture, offering to help my parent's friend fix a small problem with his computer. Little did I know, that was the end of my peaceful life at home. Before long, every Asian parent in the fifty mile radius is inviting my family over to their house for dinner. Interestingly, they all want to know the times I am available, and stress that that it would be "an honor" if I would grace them with my presence. Oh yea by the way, maybe I can help them with just a tiny computer issue right after dinner. So for the past few weeks, I have been going from house to house, trying to play the part of the "good son" so my parents can save face with their friends. Even though my parents never force me to go to these e...
8 comments
Read more

Tim Keller is my Hero!

I happen to LOVE Tim Keller. Here's an article about him on NYTimes several weeks ago. When I was in East Asia, Keller would preach to us almost every Sunday through my trusty MP3 player. I listened to him for two years before I finally saw him face to face when I visited Redeemer last July. I can still remember how I couldn't focus on the message that first Sunday because he looked so much different than how I pictured him in my head for two years. Preaching the Word and Quoting the Voice By Michael Luo , Published: February 26, 2006 In the twilight of the biggest snowstorm in New York City's history, the pews of a rented Baptist church on the Upper West Side of Manhattan were packed for the Rev. Timothy J. Keller's fourth sermon of the day. About 4,400 people attend the church; many joined after the Sept. 11 attacks. The 600 or so who braved the snow for the evening service got what they had come to expect — a compelling discourse by Dr. Keller, this time on Jesu...
2 comments
Read more