The Constant Wanderer

Thinking back on it , the past two years almost seemed like a dream. Although it was more nightmarish than happy at times, it was well worth it. In some ways, East Asia was the perfect place for growth and shaping character. Through the trying times I was forced to recognize and admit my own weakness, my powerlessness to do what is right, and my ever present tendency to wander away from God. The facades I hid behind shattered and I came face to face with my sinful nature. There was no where to run, no where to hide. The only place left to go was upward, into the arms of the loving Father.

Ironically, after all that I have learned and gone through, I still find myself struggling with the same issues today. I am finding America life to be much harder than I remembered it to be. If I liken my time in Asia to a full-frontal war against an enemy, then right now would be a much sneakier and trickier guerrilla war. The traps are not as obvious, the attacks not as apparent, but slowly and surely the enemy wears you down, waiting for the perfect moment to make his kill.

Fortunately, I am not unaware of the traps before of me, nor am I ignorant of the war I am still fighting. Nevertheless, I fear because I know how wretched a soul I am, how easy it is for me to falter. The only thing to do now is to ask for strength, wisdom, and a light to guide me in my path. There is no other way.